Below Rock Bottom
by lethalwhispers
Summary: Dimitri's charge died on his watch. Broken, he returns to court and catches the eye of some very powerful people. His new duties take "they come first" to a whole new level. Without Dimitri, Rose can't handle the effects of Spirit darkness. Together, they attempt to crawl, bloodied and bruised from within the prisons of their minds. Contains Adult Themes, but no specific detail.
1. Prologue

**Below Rock Bottom: Prologue**

 **Summary: After Dimitri's charge, Ivan Zeklos, was killed by Strigoi, he lost all sense of purpose. When he returned to court for his new assignment, he caught the attention of some very powerful people. Dimitri's new circumstances take the saying "they come first" to a new extreme for him. "Guardian" Belikov never thought his life would end up like this, but he has become numb to it all. What will happen when a certain dark-haired beauty reignites his passion for duty, devotion, and morality.**

 **AN: I am a girl, and uncomfortable writing from a man's POV. For now, the prologue will be the only part of the story from Dimitri's POV. It will likely stay that way unless the scene requires otherwise. This is my first Fan Fic, and my first time making my writing public.**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it.**_

 **DPOV**

 _This is just so wrong._

I sit with my eyes squeezed shut, all too eager to forget where I am and what I am about to do.

What I have done.

Many times.

My heartbeat quickens, my breath is ragged, and perspiration beads on my brow.

I don't have to open my eyes to know that the others in the room are disgusted by me. What I am.

They stand against the wall, dressed in black, seeing without really seeing. Stoic as ever.

Their revulsion of me hidden securely behind practiced emotionless masks.

I used to be one of them.

I used to stand in the shadows and protect my charge.

That was before everything changed. Now there is no one to protect anymore.

Not for me anyway.

That life is over, and a new one has seemingly been chosen for me.

I could have fought it, but what's the point?

Why fight something morally wrong when my sense of morality is buried six feet under disrupted soil with my charge.

Why fight this fate when I have nothing better to live for?

At least there is a purpose for my existence, a reason for every breath I take.

A reason that every night, I eventually open my eyes the next morning.

At least it's better than nothing.

Better than the torment inside my own mind.

As I sit, and wait, and think, the sweat finally dribbles down my forehead.

It mixes in with the silent, salty tears falling down my face.

The old me would have never shown any emotion in front of others, let alone despair.

My blatant tears are proof of just how far I've fallen.

Once a revered Guardian, now looked down upon by even the most inexperienced novice.

The door to my left opens, and a baritone voice echoes around the chamber, "The Queen is ready to see you now, Mr. Belikov."

I flinch at the removal of my title, but there is no point in correcting him.

I am no Guardian.

Resignedly, I open my eyes, and dry my face on my shirt. Sweat and tears soaking into the black cotton.

I rise and bring my fingers to lightly trace the puncture wounds on my neck, anticipating the high, and the comforting void that it will bring.

I slowly put one foot in front of the other, walking ever closer to my source of short-term relief and prolonged suffering.

I am disgusted with who I have become.

All I can do is forget.

At least for a short while.

 _What have I done?_

 _ **-lethalwhispers**_


	2. Chapter One: Nowhere to go

**Below Rock Bottom: Chapter One "Nowhere to go"**

 **Expanded background info:**

 **Everything that happened in the books has happened up until they arrive at court, just without Dimitri. He has never met Rose. The girls were brought back by Alberta, who then mentored Rose. Lissa was kidnapped, Spokane, Mason died, the ghosts, battle on the Academy, except no strigoi Dimitri, and there was no rescue mission. Eddie was turned Strigoi. Rose never went to Russia. Also, Rose was there the whole time with Avery Lazar, and she and Lissa never fully recovered from that. Through all of this, Rose did not have Dimitri, her rock, to help her stay sane. She carries the darkness, the guilt over losing her two friends, and the duty to protect her charge, Lissa. Rose faded away, her life became her duty to Lissa, and her battle to keep herself from drowning in the depths of her insanity.**

 **Dimitri's situation will become clear soon enough. He's a tall, attractive Dhampir man at court, seeing the queen, bite marks on his neck… think about it. At this point, our god-like guardian from the series is unrecognizable. He's been in this life for a year now and couldn't pull himself out of it even if he tried. He lost all motivation after Ivan's death, and this is his form of self-punishment.**

 **AN: After thinking about where I want the plot to go, it seems critical to the story to write some of it in Dimitri's POV, and I will give it my best shot. I appreciate constructive criticism, or any ideas to improve my story.**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it._**

 **DPOV**

In the past, each resounding thud of my fist making contact with the vinyl bag would have relieved some of the tension I was feeling. Instead, the more I hit the bag, the more I picture my own face in the place of the small tape square. With each blow, my knuckles ache, yet I continue relentlessly.

The haze of her bite slowly wears off, but with the mental clarity comes the onslaught of memories. I can do nothing to forget the feeling of her hands on my body. I only find relief when she bites me again, and the pleasant endorphins lull me into a blissful state of ecstasy.

My life has become a never-ending loop, a hole I keep digging with every punch, and every visit I make to her room. A chasm of my own creation that I can never escape.

Morning shift at the gate. Midday work out. Afternoon "Guardian duties" in the Queen's chambers. In the evening, take out frustration and self-loathing on the punching bag until I collapse from exhaustion.

Every goddamn day. Never ending, never changing.

The sharp ring of my cell disrupts my rhythm for a moment before I continue my assault on the bag. Ring after ring I ignore the call, until it finally goes to voicemail.

Punch after punch, hit after hit, my breathing becomes increasingly ragged.

My fist makes contact with the bag one last time before my legs give out and I crumple to the floor. I stare up at the ceiling, in no rush to vacate my spot on the floor. No one approaches me or stands anywhere near me. It is as if I have a disease.

In no hurry to return to my cramped apartment, I slowly rise and make my way to the locker room. Standing under the spray of the shower, the running water does nothing to wash away the vile things I've done. The revolting person I've become.

The soap washes away the smell of her perfume, but not her bite marks on my neck.

—O—o—O—o—O—

On my way back to my room, I watch the hubbub of court life in the evening. The sun will rise any minute, and the Moroi seek to be inside before the rays of light can reach them. The Dhampir guardians remain outside, ever watchful, prepared for any sign of danger.

I used to wait until the hallways were empty before making my way back, unable to bear the whispers and the glares. Over time, I became numb to it all, and court gossip moved on to bigger and better things. I tried my best to avoid everyone. Life is barely worth living when no one will look you in the eye or maintain a conversation longer than absolutely necessary.

Once I close and lock my front door, I pull out my phone to check the message from the gym and lean back against the solid wood. Only two people ever call me anymore. My Mama calls once a week to make sure I'm still eating. Every time she calls, her disappointment drips off her every word. This time, the message is from my old friend Tasha Ozera.

I don't even need to listen to the message to know why she's calling me. It is the same routine every time every few weeks. She makes degrading comments about me being the Queen's personal "pleasure blood bag", or more commonly known as bloodwhore. She then moves on to say how much better I am than the life I'm living. She tells me how much she misses me and offers for me to become her guardian. Every time.

Even if I was remotely interested in guarding Tasha, I could never have another charge. I cannot be trusted with the life of a Moroi. I failed once, and I will not let it happen again.

Sighing, I make my way to my bed and collapse on top of the covers, not bothering to change my clothes. I stretch out my 6'7" frame, and my legs extend past the end of the bed, hanging in the open air. Even the Queen's favorite bloodwhore can't get everything, even a longer bed.

She said that if I wanted a larger bed, I could simply stay with her at night.

I may have lost all of my self-worth, but that is one line I will not cross.

I reach over and set my alarm clock for early in the morning, in preparation for the commotion tomorrow. The graduating class from St. Vladimir's Academy arrives bright and early. The large group of teenage Moroi and graduating Novices, all blissfully unaware of the pain and heartbreak of reality.

Some of the new guardians will die quickly, others will live long enough to endure the deaths of each of their friends and colleagues. Either way, a brutal awakening awaits them before their promise mark tattoo even begins to heal.

As I lay there, awaiting the arrival of sleep, my fingers lightly grazing my own promise mark, I think of my own naïve days as a new guardian. Before that fateful day.

Before the day I hesitated, and it cost me the life of my friend and charge, Ivan Zeklos.

 ** _-lethalwhispers_**


	3. Chapter Two: I've changed

**Below Rock Bottom: Chapter Two "I've changed"**

 **AN: stardreamer2608 pointed out that Dimitri and Queen Tatiana are family, and yes it is pretty gross that she's his great aunt on his Father's side… but it does play a role in the plot that I have planned out, so bear with me. Given that this is my first story, I am very excited about the number of people reading this. A huge thanks to those who have followed, favorited, and/or reviewed (You all kind of made my day). If there is anything I can do to improve, I would be glad to hear it, or anything that would make the story more enjoyable.**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it._**

 **RPOV**

I smoothed my hands down my perfectly crisp white blouse and slowly breathed out, releasing bottled up nervous energy. Fitted black slacks, black jacket, and hair tied up to display my marks. The uniform of a guardian.

I generally tried to avoid wearing my hair down as much as possible, but it is unavoidable as a Guardian. My long, dark hair serves as a protective barrier between me and the nosy people who ask me why I received two Molnija marks and a Zvezda battle star before I became a promised guardian.

Painful questions. The black marks on the back of my neck serve as a reminder of the friends I was unable to protect, and the one person I can never let anything happen to. Ever.

Loosing Mason and Eddie, two Dhampir novices and close friends, had a significant impact on my personality. I once was a carefree party girl who drank too much and mouthed off to superiors, but it appears the gaping hole left by the deaths of my friends pulled my bad attitude inside it. Even more than that. Everything that I used to be, is gone. Interests, hobbies, anything remotely to do with having a personal life withered away after Mason died, and Eddie was turned.

My whole life became dedicated to serving my Moroi, Vasilisa Dragomir, to the utmost of my ability. The years I spent training hours every day, covered in sweat, practically breaking my body to ensure her protection. My commitment to her is all I have left.

Grasping the stake holstered at my waist, I flipped the weapon into the air, and watched as the fading sunlight glints off the polished metal.

Before I could catch the stake, my chest felt like it was run over by a steamroller, constricting and tightening to the point where I was gasping for air. My prized weapon clattered on the ground as I collapsed on the bed behind me, and my vision faded in and out. Sprawled out over the covers, I became increasingly aware of the darkness seeping into my mind from Lissa's.

It has become second nature to take the spirit darkness from her. It's just part of how I protect her. I can fight to defend her body from physical harm, but this is how I save her mind from spiraling into insanity.

I was aware that Lissa would be demonstrating her powers this morning, and I had braced myself for the incoming darkness. But this time seemed worse than usual. Each time I take it from her seems worse than the last.

It lingers inside my head, with no release. The darkness seeps into every crevice, every secluded part of my mind. It tries to control me, always trying to take over my mind. Ever since the incident before the Strigoi attack where the members of the Mână assaulted Lissa and I almost killed Jesse Zeklos, I have never let the darkness come out again.

Little things I do give me momentary relief but can come perilously close to releasing the stored darkness. Sparring can help, but my mentor Alberta is the only one who can handle fighting with me anymore. Running seems to keep my mind off the darkness for a period and makes me less jittery.

As hard as I try, it never goes away. Every time Lissa uses her powers, I get that much more darkness to handle, increasing the built-up pressure inside my skull. At this point, it feels like my head might just explode, leaving the cleaning crew to mop up the mess.

As my breathing returned, I became aware of my surroundings again, and the knocking on my door.

Rising, I slowly and deliberately put one foot in front of the other towards the incessant rapping. My mind is consumed with thoughts of my weakness in this moment, how I am unfit to protect myself, let alone Lissa. I just need to train harder.

Opening the door revealed the bright, yet hesitant smile of my "best friend".

"Hey Rose," she said, her gaze quickly shifting around my face, never meeting my eyes, "are you ready to head out? The jet is ready."

"Yes Princess, I'll be right down." Her smile faltered at my use of her title. It is something I insisted on doing ever since the Academy was attacked.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you down there I guess," she said softly, and turned around to make a quick exit.

Sighing, I closed the door and shut my eyes for a moment. I could see that she was disappointed with my formality, but it is the way things must be. I cannot be her friend and guard her properly.

I grabbed my things and closed the door to my dorm room one last time, forever sealing off the memories of this place. Sealing off the people I've lost and girl I used to be. Making my way to the jet, I seated myself in the rear, with sightlines to every potential access point as well as my charge.

Lissa is seated with her boyfriend Christian a few rows ahead of me. They whispered together, and periodically she glanced back at me, a pained look in her eyes.

I prepared myself for takeoff, fully aware of what awaited me as soon as we left the protection of the wards. I swallowed a few sleeping pills in preparation, hoping to avoid enduring the skull-splitting headache.

My eyes fluttered closed as the airplane began to taxi onto the runway, and I was lost to the world before the wheels ever left the ground.

—O—o—O—o—O—

I jolted awake as the airplane roughly landed on the tarmac, and quickly decreased speed. Alert as ever, I prepared to disembark and load the princess into the awaiting vans.

We made the transition as efficiently as possible and drove towards the entrance to court.

Lissa could barely contain her excitement, bouncing in her seat restlessly. Christian sat to her left looking bored and defiant as ever, but every so often he would sneak adoring glances at his animated girlfriend, and a genuine smile crossed his face.

I was no longer able to be there for Lissa the way she needed me to be, but at least she had Christian. He could support her in ways that I was incapable of anymore.

When we finally pulled up to the gate, the driver to my left had a brief conversation with the Guardian clearing us for entry. I remained seated in the front passenger's seat, emotionlessly staring through the windshield at the expansive campus that lay beyond.

We continued the last leg of our journey once our arrival had been properly processed and we were deemed to be harmless to the inhabitants of the compound.

The guardian finally pulled to a stop outside what appeared to be the Moroi apartments, and I internally groaned at the sight of our apparent welcoming party.

Slowly disembarking from the van, I prayed to anyone listening that this particular stuck up royal had changed since the last time I had the pleasure of his company.

"Little Dhampir! How lovely it is to see you again. You're certainly dressed like a promised Guardian, although I can't say that the uniform suits you. I'd be happy to help you into something a little more comfortable back in my room," Adrian said, arms spread wide as if he expected me to embrace him. His womanizing smirk and mischievous green eyes lured me in once, but now my duty came first.

"Good to see you again, Lord Ivashkov." If Adrian was surprised by the formality, it did not show on his face as he turned to greet the others.

"Cousin! It's always a pleasure to see you. I trust you've been well. I see you're still with the fire-user there, hello Christian. Well, now that you're all here, I can show you to your rooms." Adrian linked arms with Lissa and lead her to the elevator, a grumbling Christian following closely behind the pair.

When we reached the door, Adrian unceremoniously threw it open and walked over to a long leather couch, reclining his tall frame across the length.

"It's not as large as mine, but I guess it will suit you three for now, until you can find better accommodations," Adrian said, as he folded his arms behind his head.

"I'm sure that this is more than we need," Christian nodded along with his girlfriend, "but what do you think Rose?"

An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach as I anticipated her reaction to my decision.

"I am sure that you and Lord Ozera will be comfortable here Princess, and I will get settled in my own accommodations at the Guardian dorms later this evening once you are settled here." Christian snorted at my use of his title, while Lissa looked perplexed by my statement. I could feel her confusion through the bond.

"What do you mean Rose?" she took a step towards me. "Of course you will be staying here with us, I have a room for you and everything."

"Princess, I would feel more comfortable in my own quarters where I would not disturb either of you," I felt uncomfortable the whole time I was speaking, trying to ignore my awareness of Lissa's incredulity.

"But that's ridiculous Rose, I'm sure you would be more comfortable here," Lissa said, her exasperation with my resistance becoming obvious to everyone in the room. Christian stepped forward and started rubbing her back in a calming manner.

I could feel the darkness boil up inside of me as I spat out, "I think I know best where I would be comfortable, Your Highness."

Lissa was taken aback by my harsh tone, and Christian scowled at me from his place behind his girlfriend. As my gaze shifted to Adrian, he seemed to be scrutinizing my aura.

"Oh dear Little Dhampir, what have you been doing to yourself?" He said it to no one in particular, and his eyes grew distant.

Lissa and Christian began to converse in hushed tones, glancing at me just as they had done on the journey here.

"If you would excuse me, my shift is over, and I need to take my belongings to my room. Good evening Princess, Lord Ozera, Lord Ivashkov," I said coldly. I was fed up with their behavior and still consumed by spirit darkness. I needed to get out of there before I did something I would regret.

As the door shut behind me and I carried my bags to my new home, I could feel Lissa's remorse, and her longing for her old best friend.

I sink into the mattress, my bags abandoned on the floor near the door of my tiny room. I think about the girl that Lissa remembers. Her lively, spunky attitude and troublesome reputation. I long for her too.

I grieve for the girl that I was, and what happened to make her disappear.

I lay there with my eyes open, stray tears falling down my face, knowing full well sleep is futile.

The darkness infested nightmares will never let me sleep.

 ** _-lethalwhispers_**


	4. Chapter Three: First impression

**Below Rock Bottom: Chapter Three "First impression"**

 **AN: Sorry for the delayed update. I meant to get this out sooner, but I spent the week packing and moving. Not much time for writing. Thank you to those who have reviewed/favorited/followed, it's awesome. Any feedback is always appreciated. Thanks for sticking with me.**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it._**

 **DPOV**

She made me cut my hair.

She said that it kept getting in the way when she bit my neck. At the time, I was livid. My hair was the last piece of myself that I had left. The one remnant of my past life. It was evidence that I was once better than this and could be again.

Each quiet cut the scissors made severed a part of me I feared would never return. Each lock of hair that fell to the floor took my pride and morals with it.

I was bothered by it at first. As time passed, I realized I preferred my altered appearance. If I still looked like myself, the guilt would have consumed me. Ivan's memory would relentlessly berate me for my betrayal.

His eyes, cold and dead staring at me accusingly as the cold-blooded monster sucked on his carotid artery. The sickening thud his body made as it hit the ground. He was dead long before the monster dropped his corpse to the pavement.

Ivan's voice taunted me as I crawled to his limp form, hopelessly applying pressure to the wound. He condemned me for failing him in life. In death, he haunted my days and nights, always there to criticize my every decision and further sentence me to an afterlife in the fiery pits of hell.

My new appearance allowed me to forget who I was, to not look in the mirror every morning and see the face of a disgraced guardian who has disappointed so many. I could pretend to be someone I was not.

My haircut did not concern me anymore. I suppose the hair could grow back when I wanted it to. When I was allowed to grow it back.

Other parts of me cannot be so easily repaired.

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

I kept running my hand through my short-cropped hair to relieve frustration.

The idiocy of these new graduates was a major pain in my ass. That morning I had already seen kids with red contact lenses, fake blood, and comical white face paint. Basically, a Dracula costume contest. Each van that arrived at the front gate had some variation of the same tired joke.

Although it was painstakingly obvious that these were poorly executed pranks thought up by juvenile delinquents, protocol dictated that I follow procedure in the case of attempted Strigoi infiltration. To sum it up: a thorough sweep of the van and its occupants, and a heaping pile of paperwork to document the incident once it was resolved.

Ordinarily, there would be plenty of time to complete the paperwork during my shift. No such luck today. A long line of black vans formed a train leading to the entrance, and each one added to the pile of papers I would fill out that evening. Gradually decreasing the already paltry amount of sleep that I would get.

I could hear the snickering of the teenagers as the vans pulled away. Every kid had a similar reaction, as if they thought their idea was so original and humorous.

Another black van pulled to a stop in front of my window. In a pleasant change of events, there were no Strigoi impressions in this one. One less form to fill out later. I was certain that the cars lined up next would more than make up for this small deviation from the norm.

The driver, a thirty-something blond-haired guardian, rolled down his window. "I've got another load of graduates entering court. Two Moroi and one Dhampir," the man said, and handed me the necessary forms.

I had fallen into a pattern at this point in my shift. I had been at it for hours, and each encounter blended in with the next. Grab the papers, glance in the car, open the gate, repeat. But this time, I hesitated.

I scanned the occupants of the car. The Guardian I spoke with, the two Moroi wrapped up in each other in the back seat. As I looked at the newly graduated Dhampir novice, my eyes lingered on her form.

Her shiny, dark hair pulled back into a perfectly tidy bun. Not a single hair out of place. I could only see so much of her face in profile, but what I saw ensnared me. The gentle slope of her nose, her slightly pouted lips, and strong jaw line.

She sat completely still in the car, fiercely gazing ahead towards court. Towards her future as a guardian.

And yet, it seemed as though her mind was elsewhere. Her gaze was not focused on anything in particular. Her brows were slightly pulled together, forming the slightest wrinkle, as if alluding to the troubling thoughts occupying her head.

I did not get the chance to ponder the nature of these thoughts as the van pulled away, and another took its place. And yet another form for the pile.

I spent the remainder of my shift thinking about the girl. The newly graduated guardian. All the other novices I saw today appeared to be the usual, naïve, glory-seeking teenagers awaiting their assignments.

But she was different. She took her job seriously. Too seriously for an inexperienced guardian who has never faced any real threat.

At the end of my shift, I looked back over the logs to find the names of all the new arrivals. Guardian Rogers was driving her vehicle, and the two Moroi were Christian Ozera and Princess Vasilisa Dragomir.

When I arrived at court, before I became the hot topic of the social scene, the Princess's name flew through the gossip circles like wildfire. She had run away from the academy for two years with her friend and guardian-to-be. That must be the girl. The Dhampir novice. Rose Hathaway.

Word of her rebellious nature had spread around court as well, and many blamed her for the girls' disappearance. Some went as far as to say that she had kidnapped the Princess. She was reckless, insubordinate, a known partier, and a pain in the ass.

I saw nothing of that girl today. She appeared troubled, plagued by inner turmoil.

Drastic personality changes do not happen so suddenly, or unprompted. Something must have happened to Rose Hathaway.

I could not keep myself from hoping to see her again, however unlikely that was to occur.

It was wishful thinking, but I found myself actually looking forward to the possibility of getting to know her.

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

The rest of my night continued to follow the normal routine. Workout. Visit the Queen. Destroy yet another punching bag.

Once I had disposed of the ruined bag, I slung my gym bag over my shoulder and made my way back to my apartment, eager to fall asleep and reset for a new day of monotony.

The door to my room was slightly ajar. No one ever enters my apartment but me. I unsheathed my stake and crept forward on the balls of my feet.

Years of Guardian training kicked into gear as I crouched to peer around the corner. Ever so slowly, I pushed the door open further, widening the gap enough to see inside.

After recognizing the intruder, I relaxed my stance, and lowered my stake. She was not a threat. At least not physically.

"Dimka! It's so good to see you again. It's been too long," Tasha said, then quickly advanced and pulled me into a tight embrace. She leaned back without releasing her hold on me to look at my surprised expression. "Now Dimka, what's with the shocked look? I told you I was coming. I called and left a message saying I would be here today. Don't tell me you forgot?" Tasha pouted, in an attempt to make herself more appealing.

I shrugged out of her hold and nervously scratched at the back of my neck. "No, of course I got your message," I avoided eye contact, and quickly changed the subject. "I'm just surprised to see you here this late, you must be tired. Do you know where you will be staying while you're here?" I looked around the small room but could not find any luggage.

"Yes, I'm here to visit with my nephew for his graduation, and he said that I could stay with him and his girlfriend for a few weeks," Tasha said, smiling up at me.

Internally, I groaned. Spending an extended period of time with Tasha Ozera was extremely undesirable, and to be avoided at all costs. I did not envy her nephew, nor was I looking forward to the next few weeks of avoiding Tasha.

"That's good to hear. I'll let you go spend time with him Tasha, and talk to you more tomorrow," I quickly ushered my uninvited houseguest to the door and closed it behind her.

I turned the lock and secured the chain for good measure.

I sunk down onto my bed and let out a big sigh. I should have listened to that message. At least then I would have been prepared. I could have boarded up my windows and stocked the cabinets with non-perishable food items. That is a mistake I will avoid in the future.

How is it that the one woman I wanted to stay away was persistent as hell, but the one I wanted to see again remained a mystery to me?

That night after finishing the mountain of paperwork, my dreams were filled with images of her face. Her haunted eyes, this time looking directly at me. Her presence was calming and kept the nightmares at bay. For once, my dreams did not wake me up, and I slept peacefully through the night.

 ** _-lethalwhispers_**


	5. Chapter Four: Not part of the plan

**Below Rock Bottom: Chapter Four "Not part of the plan"**

 **AN: Thank you to those who have reviewed/followed/favorited. Your support is an excellent motivation to write. Now to find out what Rose thinks of Dimitri…**  
 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it._**

 **RPOV**

We had been at court two days, and already Lissa was planning some sort of get together. I did not understand why. The only people in attendance would be Lissa, Christian, his aunt Tasha, and myself. But Tasha was already staying with us, so it would be just like any other dinner, just with formal attire. It did not make sense, but Lissa would chew my head off if I disagreed with her. Not that it was my place to disagree with her. Not anymore.

Lissa was in her element, making lists and planning everything out for the evening. My presence was not required while she stayed within the safety of the wards, so I made my way toward Guardian Headquarters to get my shift assignment for the week.

I would most likely wander around the perimeter of Lissa's apartment and stay by her side, bored out of my mind waiting for an attack that would never come. Although, the impossible happens far more often than one would think. My own experiences were proof enough of that.

I meandered around court, in no sort of rush to go back to Lissa's apartment and help with place settings or the dinner menu. Seriously, the girl needed to relax and take a step back. I would have told her as mush a few months ago. But I had changed. So had she.

We weren't as close as we once were. I had already started to withdraw from her after Mason's death and Eddie's transformation, but I did it to take my position as her guardian more seriously. I couldn't lose her too.

When Avery Lazar arrived at the academy, she drove a wedge between us further. I was too hurt by the things she was saying about me to notice the effect she was having on Lissa. Thankfully Adrian was there to bring me to my senses. After the whole situation was resolved and Adrian returned to court, our best-friend-relationship never repaired itself.

We never put in the effort to mend fences. The connection between us was broken beyond repair. Even though I could feel her remorse and her guilt, I could also feel how Avery's words were rooted deep in her mind, and the lies she told about me held some truth to Lissa.

And for that, I could not forgive her.

However, I put my personal feelings aside and let my duty to her become my life. That was our entire relationship now. Former best friends, now guardian and charge. They come first. She comes first.

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

I had only been to court once before, but I found my way to the large grey building easily enough. I pushed through the door and stepped into chaos. Papers scattered all over desks, chairs, and even the floor. Guardians lucky enough to be assigned desk duty bustled about the place, maneuvering around each other in an unchoreographed dance. No one knew where the others were going, but they made it work. Barely.

I was struck by the long line of my peers extending down the hallway. It seemed that each graduating novice from St. Vladimir's Academy decided that this was the moment to find out their assignment.

I joined the line, retreating into my own head and tuning out the hubbub around me. Each time the kid in front of me stepped forward, I followed suit.

I lost count of each shuffle forward, and was surprised when finally, I looked into the face of a disheveled young guardian.

"Name?"

"Uh, Rose Hathaway," I said, tapping my foot impatiently.

The guardian typed at his keyboard and looked back up at me. "I have a Rosemarie Hathaway, but no Rose."

"Yeah, that's me," I said quickly, eager to end this conversation and get out of there. The kid behind me coughed loudly.

"It would make this process easier on everyone if you gave me the correct information when I asked you for it." The guardian rolled his eyes and typed something else into the computer. He turned around to retrieve a printout and handed it to me.

"Next," the guardian said, and I was swiftly shoved to the side. Regaining my balance, I glared at the back of the Novice's head, a wide variety of cuss words itching to escape my lips.

I was silenced after glancing down at the sheet of paper in my hands.

Gripping it tightly, I shoved my way forward again. "This has to be a mistake."

The young guardian sighed, "What are you talking about?"

"This says that I am assigned to the front gate as a court guardian. I am supposed to guard Princess Vasilisa Dragomir," I stared into his dark eyes, incredulous.

"All newly graduated guardians were put on temporary assignment as court guardians. We're short staffed at the moment, and you all are picking up the slack. All royals currently residing in court do not require individual guardian protection. Consider the assignment probationary, by order of the Queen."

"No, you don't understand-" I was interrupted by the pushy novice.

"Just get over yourself already. You're not the only one waiting for a better assignment. Suck it up and do your job."

Fuming, I turned around and stormed off. I had built up my self-restraint in the past few months, but I could only handle so much provocation before my temper got the better of me.

How could they do this? I was supposed to be Lissa's guardian. It was what had I trained for years to become. It was the wish of her deceased parents. Who does the Queen think she is to interfere in something that had been decided years before?

I stopped walking in the middle of the empty courtyard.

The guardian said that this was just temporary assignment, but what if they never let me become Lissa's guardian? The Queen never liked me, she always believed that Lissa needed someone more experienced and more disciplined to oversee her safety. What if this was her plan to separate us?

I started hyperventilating. I crumpled the printout and grasped at my chest as each breath became increasingly shallow, more and more difficult to fill my lungs. I crouched down as my vision began to blur. I could feel the tears I had held back for so long burn behind my eyes.

Who am I if I am not Lissa's guardian?

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

I calmed down and collected myself. I straightened my uniform and made my way back to Lissa's apartment, the crumpled piece of paper still clutched in my fist.

I entered her apartment, slumping against the closed door behind me. I closed my eyes and continued to calm my breathing.

In. Out.

In. Out.

I started at the low protest of the floorboards. Quickly looking up, I stared into a broad, muscular chest. My eyes traveled farther up, past the collar of his grey button-up, protruding Adam's apple, thin lips drawn into a tight line, sloped nose, and finally meeting a pair of warm, worried brown eyes.

I gasped, unable to move farther away due to the door pressed to my back. His gaze pierced my protective shell, as though this man could see into the deepest part of my soul.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Oh my, even his voice affected me. His accent sent a shudder straight through me.

I stood there staring at the Adonis in front of me. While I wasn't complaining, I was still confused by his presence. When I realized he was expecting me to respond, I stuttered, "It's nothing, no need to apologize."

He looked at me intensely for a moment, almost taken aback. He shook his head and cleared his throat. "I assume you're here for dinner? I'm Dimitri Belikov." He extended his hand towards me.

"Rose Hathaway. And yes, I am," I slid my small hand into his warm, much larger one and shook it firmly. Quickly releasing his hand, I broke the intense gaze. Without another word, I led the way into the living room.

Lissa looked up from her conversation with Christian's aunt. "Rose! Finally, you're here. You remember Tasha, and it looks like you've met her friend Dimitri." At least his presence made sense now. He's probably another one of her boy-toys. What a shame.

"Now that everyone is here, shall we eat?" Lissa rose from her seat on the couch and led the group into the dining room. She and Christian sat at the heads of the table, Tasha sat next to Dimitri, and I sat across from the "couple".

Throughout dinner, Lissa and Tasha made mindless chatter. Christian was roped into contributing several times, by both his aunt and his girlfriend. Each time his response to their questions was clipped, and he looked far more comfortable keeping to himself.

I was left well enough alone. Lissa had learned by now that I would not engage in conversation, especially around company, and I never got on with Tasha.

Dimitri was only mentioned when Tasha reached over to grab Dimitri's forearm, and said, "Oh yes, maybe you and Christian will have an easier time convincing Dimitri here to become my guardian. I've tried to talk him into it for years. It would be a step up from what he's doing now, and certainly more respectable."

I felt my lip rise in a sneer, both at Tasha's hold on Dimitri and the way she talked about him as is he was not there. As if he was shiny new toy she wanted to take home with her.

He remained silent and impassive throughout the meal, but I did catch him stealing glances at me a few times across the table.

Once everyone was finished and the dishes were cleared, the party moved into the living room. I took up my post at the wall. Easy to maneuver, all exits and entrances visible, and close enough to Lissa to stop any oncoming threat.

Once Lissa realized what I was doing, she immediately protested. "Come on Rose. You ate dinner with us, could you please just sit down and talk?"

I had already broken protocol by eating with them, as she had mentioned. But that was all the more reason to maintain proper procedure now. "I would prefer to do my duty from here, if you wouldn't mind Princess."

I had to protect her while I had the chance. The next morning, my new assignment would begin, and Lissa would be left vulnerable. I had to do what I could for her now.

Lissa sighed but gave up. Tasha looked at my rigid posture a few times, before appearing lost deep in thought. She didn't say anything out loud though.

I felt the air move next to me as Dimitri settled against the wall to my left, imitating my stance.

Both staring straight ahead, I had a sudden urge to break the silence and learn more about him. "So Dimitri, I assume that you are a guardian here at court. Do you guard the grounds, or do you have a specific charge?"

He seemed stunned by my question for a second. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. Once he seemed to have composed himself, he coughed and said, "I often guard the front gate, but I work privately for royal Moroi as well."

Something seemed off about his reply. I couldn't decide whether it was the hesitation, or the carefully worded response.

Dimitri confused me. His physical appearance gave the impression of firm stability, and yet he seemed rife with insecurity.

Every time he looked at me with those sad, dark brown eyes, I could see the secrets in them begging to be spoken aloud.

I found his presence next to me calming, his kindred spirit comforting mine in our shared, unspoken misery.

Tomorrow I would have to tell Lissa that I was not going to be her guardian.

But for right now, I could simply stand here, guarding Lissa for what could be the last time, standing next to someone who might just understand what it feels like to be me.

For once, I felt a little bit at ease.

 ** _-lethalwhispers_**


	6. Chapter Five: Her

**Below Rock Bottom: Chapter Five "Her"**

 **AN: A huge thanks to those who are sticking with me, and the reviews/follows/favorites. It really means a lot. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Anyway, on with the story…**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, it is the property of Richelle Mead. While I wish I could have come up with this brilliance, I was simply inspired by it._**

 **DPOV**

I could not get her out of my head. Her presence took root in my brain and seemed to grow with each passing moment. Thoughts of her were blooming and blossoming in my mind. Her wide brown eyes creased with unspoken worries. How I had yet to witness a smile cross her soft lips. Her lingering voice that echoed though my head.

I could not stop thinking about her, the way it felt to gaze down upon her. Her stature so much smaller than mine, and yet she held herself fearlessly.

My hand still tingled where I held hers, the only evidence I had to prove that this wonderful event occurred. The only way I knew it was not just another dream.

Thoughts of her cut through my usual numbness. I was used to making my way through a dull world, every action a means to an unsatisfactory end.

Rose, true to her name, had enriched everything around me. Color seeped into things that had once been lifeless. Like me.

I had never paid attention to my usual path to the front gate. I always kept my head down in an effort to avoid eye contact with my "betters".

Even in the summer heat, there was beauty everywhere here. The sunset I stopped to admire during my morning run, with all the reds and oranges fading and swirling together into the darkness of the night.

The neatly trimmed shrubberies in all sorts of fantastical shapes that lined the courtyards. Each branch trimmed to perfection, the sign of someone's pride and care in their work.

The smells that wafted out of bakeries as they opened for the morning crowds, the sweet aroma almost dizzying.

Even the crowds themselves, all the people pushing past each other, voices rising over the cacophony, each needing to be louder than the last to be heard clearly.

Each person with their own place in this mad, harmonious community.

It had taken some time, but even I had found my place here.

But I had become stagnant. I chose to ignore the thoughts in my head telling me that I had choices, that I could change my circumstances for the better.

I was blind, unable to see a way out of the hole that I kept digging deeper, and deeper.

But Rose helped me glimpse an alternative. Her seriousness for guarding reminded me just how important being a guardian is, and that I used to feel the same way.

She was the spark that I needed to reignite a passion inside me I had thought was long gone.

Each step towards the front gate felt a little lighter than the step before.

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

It was already five minutes past eight, and each tick of the second hand made my new partner increasingly late. I had been told to expect a newbie as my new partner; the more experienced guardians here at court were being reassigned to higher level positions. Most of them anyway.

At seven minutes past, the door at the back of the small office banged open, followed by hurried footsteps and heavy breathing.

I turned in my chair to reprimand my new colleague, but the words escaped me.

There, standing in front of me, trying desperately to compose herself and hide her labored breathing, was Rose Hathaway. As if my thoughts had summoned her.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. It is unprofessional, inexcusable, and will not happen again," she panted out, then straightened her uniform and looked around the cramped space filled with papers.

Even in her disheveled state, Rose captured my attention. Her tightly pulled back hair had a few flyaway strands that hung loose and framed her face. Her cheeks were lightly tinged in pink, as if she exerted herself by running here. The woman standing before me was a far cry from the stoic, composed graduate I had seen twice previously. It was refreshing.

When she finally made eye contact with me, her eyes narrowed, and her head tilted in recognition. "You're Guardian Belikov, right? We met last night," She stepped forward and extended her hand. "I'm Rose Hathaway."

As if I could forget who she was. I couldn't stop thinking about our encounter in the hallway, and now I got the chance to shake her hand again.

Pushing down my school-boy excitement, I stood and quickly shook her hand. "Yes, I remember. It is good to see you again Guardian Hathaway." She seemed excited by my use of her title.

"I really am sorry about being late. Something came up with Princess Dragomir that took longer than I thought, and I lost track of time." She must have seen the worry in my face, because she quickly continued, "She's fine, everything's good with her. She was just disappointed when I told her I wasn't going to be guarding her. Something about being on probation, and a shortage of guardians here at court." At least her presence here made more sense.

"You two are close then?" She was about to reply, then hesitated, some of that earlier eagerness sliding down with her shoulders.

"Yes. Well, we were. It's a long story. Anyway, why don't you show me the ropes around here boss?" I let her sudden change of topic slide and found myself smiling at the term 'boss'.

"Technically, we will be working together as partners, so no need to be formal. You can call me Dimitri if you would like." She nodded at this and seemed to relax slightly. Her rigid posture loosened a hair.

"Then call me Rose."

I turned and grabbed one of the clipboards from the desk.

"Alright then Rose, let's get started."

 **—** **O—o—O—o—O—**

The remainder of my shift passed quickly. Explaining how things worked to Rose was simple and easy, and she picked up on the rules fast. In this one morning with her, I found myself talking more than I had in the past month. It was strictly business, no small talk or personal anecdotes, but it was nice.

By the time the next pair came to relieve us, I was reluctant to say goodbye. The feeling was foreign, especially since I would see her again tomorrow, and the days after. I called after her as she started to walk away after saying goodbye. She turned around and raised her eyebrows.

"Have you been to the gym here at court yet?" She shook her head.

"No, I haven't had the opportunity. Why do you ask?" I shuffled my feet and looked down.

"I usually go after my shift, and it occurred to me that maybe you hadn't been there yet, and that I could show you around or something." At this point I was just rambling like a madman, adding in unnecessary words. That eager look returned to her face but didn't quite reach her eyes.

"That would be really cool of you. I'll go grab my stuff. Where should I meet you?" I was still wrapping my head around her acceptance when I realized she was waiting for an answer.

"How about in front of the church. You know where that is right?" She nodded and started to walk away backwards.

"Sounds great. I'll see you there in a half hour." She fully turned around and jogged off, leaving me there to stare after her retreating form.

I can't believe I had actually asked her. And she had said yes. I was almost light headed at the thought.

Maybe if she comes to the gym with me, we could spar. I hadn't had anyone to spar with in a long time. No one wanted to associate with me, let alone get near enough to fight me hand to hand.

There was a nagging thought in the back of my head that said I shouldn't be putting Rose's reputation at risk by letting her near me, but I pushed it down. I was being selfish.

But this was an opportunity I could not pass up. Each time Rose spoke today, I felt like she was holding herself in check, like there was a whole lot more going on behind that mask she puts up.

Sparring would be the perfect opportunity to see behind it, to get to know the real Rose Hathaway. The girl whose gaze seemed a million miles away.

For the first time in a long time, I was excited about going to the gym and practically ran back to my room.

 ** _-lethalwhispers_**


End file.
